My site was been hacked (so getting tired of WordPress). It was rather annoying to fix, so I just nuked my whole WordPress install and I am going to start from scratch. I have a DB backup, so I may make some attempt to restore things. The problem is, the inserts aren’t quite the same anymore so it will take some changes to get it to work.
It’s with quite a bit of hesitation that I sit down to write a post on our financial makeover, but after having thought about it for a while and having talked it over with my wife (Robin), we think it is worthwhile to share. My hesitation comes from a number of things, but most notably:
- What will my family/friends/coworkers think? Money, and especially the mistakes one makes with it, is not something one is supposed to talk about.
- I consider myself pretty smart, so to say I followed a book (more later) geared towards “other people” by a guy who sometimes comes off as a loud mouth is a bit humbling.
- Even more humbling is the fact that I/we knew everything in the book already (all the “Baby Steps”), we just never executed on the ideas until now. But hey, you gotta start somewhere.
On the positive side, we’ve shared our story now with a few friends and family members and it seems to resonate, even if it is a bit weird to hear. Moreover, after 10 years of marriage, this single book and the ensuing process has radically changed our marriage for the better and I think that makes it worthwhile to share.
A Little Background
Robin and I have always made decent money. Not the stuff of retire-at-45 dreams, but still, good money such that all of our needs are met and most of our (reasonable) wants. Like most Americans, we had a few credit cards, car loans, mortgage, etc. When emergencies came up, we put ‘em on the “card” or scrambled somehow to put together the money. We’ve had some small windfalls from time to time which either paid off debt or went towards a house or vacation or some other major purchase. I don’t think we ever had more than $10K in credit card debt (until recently) and we’ve managed to scrape together some decent retirement money. At the end of the day, we kind of planned our money, but we were never really on the same page about money. Robin did the day to day money stuff and I did the strategic investing (if you can call it that, mainly I insisted that I put money into our 401Ks.) For a long time, we’ve had an undercurrent of not wanting credit cards and debt, but it was always kind of a love-hate thing. As for Robin and getting rid of credit cards, she’d always pull out the old saw of “Everyone has credit cards; I’m not going to live like that.” and I would back down. Finally, I think we both treated each other, in regards to money, as if the other person was somehow making it harder for us to get the things we wanted. My fixation was (is) on travel and her’s is on the house and decorating (and travel.) Neither are cheap interests. I can only imagine how much worse it would have been if we made less than we did at the time.
In the Fall of ’08 is when things started to change. We had started construction on our “dream” house back in April of ’08 while still occupying our existing home, figuring we could put it on the market 4-6 months prior to completion of our new house. Of course, as you all well know, that’s when the real estate market really started to tank (or at least it did in the Raleigh area, I know other markets started sooner.) To make a long story short, our house didn’t sell for 16 months or so, meaning we had two mortgages for a good 10-12 months. On top of the two mortgages, we put something like $10K into the house to update it and fix issues that needed to be addressed as well as moving expenses and some things for the new house. Even with both Robin and I working, we needed to charge some of those expenses. Things started to pile up. I don’t know if we could have foreseen this any better, but it still had a pretty dramatic effect on our finances. One that we are just now getting out from under.
Backing up a little bit, and this truly was a mistake, we screwed up on the mortgage for our new house. Kind of, anyway. Here’s the thing: I was an independent contractor at the time, meaning we needed to set aside money for taxes, which we dutifully did. We also set aside money for the down payment for our new house. I think you can see where this is going. We put both of those monies into the same savings account. So, when we went to buy the house, we looked in our savings account and said “Look at how much we can put down” and off we went to get the cashiers check! A few weeks later, we dutifully did our taxes. Sh*t, we’re $20K short (there were probably a few more expletives in there too.) Where did it go? You guessed it, into our down payment. Stupid, stupid, stupid. It is hands-down the biggest financial mistake we’ve ever made. We simply forgot about taxes for that one week of time where we went to buy our house, caught up in all the frenzy of the closing. Thankfully (I never will be able to truly express how meaningful the gesture was to me) a friend of mine bailed us out with a short term loan. No lectures, no arrogance, just an offer to help. Talk about humbling and uplifting all in one situation.
With the house finally sold (we lost $30K! Yipee!) in December of 2009, we took out a HELOC (home equity loan) and a 401K loan and paid off the friend and got rid of some other debt. It wasn’t ideal, at this point, to trade one debt for the other, but it made a bit more sense financially since at least we would get a tax break and the 401K loan meant we were paying ourselves interest (at the cost of lost market opportunity.) At this point, I’d say we had about $50K in total debt (credit cars, HELOC, 401K.) Adding to the situation, Robin lost her job. Bam, there goes half our income. Still, on paper we were OK, especially if we cut back on some things and thankfully we didn’t have 2 mortgages anymore.
Me, Robin and Dave
I first saw Dave Ramsey on Fox one late night at a hotel on a business trip, flipping channels to fight jet lag. For some reason, the show caught my eye. Maybe it was the people on the show blowing up their credit cards. Or maybe it was Dave’s tough talk. I don’t know, but I filed it away as something to check out later. A month or two later (June 2010), I happened on Dave’s “Total Money Makeover” at Target and plunked down $15 for it (we have not bought any of the related materials and frankly, I don’t think most people need to, either.) It was by far and away the best financial investment I’ve made in my entire life and that includes buying Apple at $16 per share back in 1998 or so (I believe it has split twice since and is now in the $350/share range). But that’s getting ahead of myself.
I brought home the book and started in on the first chapter and talked about it a bit with Robin. She was tepid at best, but in her defense, I’m often a bit stubborn when it comes to something that gets in my brain and getting rid of debt was in my brain. She didn’t want to have to live like she was poor and go without. I agreed, but I also showed her how much money we were paying in interest and if we had all that interest money we could buy the things/experiences we wanted with cash. Then, something magical happened. OK, so it was actually quite mundane, but the result has been amazing. We drove up to NY in July of 2010 to visit family and friends (want to guess how we paid for it?). The drive from NC to NY is about 12 hours. Typically, I do most of the driving, but on the way back, I was tired of driving and Robin took over. I relaxed into the passenger’s seat and pulled out Dave’s book and started to read. I’ll never know what prompted it, as we’ve never done it before, but Robin suggested that I read it out loud. So I did. I read a chapter and we discussed it. I read another chapter and we discussed it. Lather, rinse, repeat. We probably read/discussed for 4-5 hours that drive home. My voice was almost hoarse by the time we stopped for dinner. The damage, however, was done. The gears were turning.
Over the course of the next week or so, we read a chapter together every night and then discussed it. We hashed through whether it was even possible. We argued a little bit and there was definitely some tension as to how far we should go, after all Dave preaches an all-in or don’t-bother strategy. However, several things really clicked:
- Dave doesn’t say you can’t spend any money. He just says you need to put a label on absolutely every dime you take in and if you can’t afford something, you can’t buy it yet. We had budgeted before, but we always just left a bunch of money as “miscellaneous”. Now we sit down and plan out the month ahead and, often times, several months ahead.
- Dave aptly points out that most things that most people categorize as emergencies are not emergencies. Your car breaking down is not an emergency. It’s an inconvenience, no doubt, but it is not an emergency. Your child needing clothes for school is not an emergency. Birthdays come every year at the same time. As does Christmas. They are not emergencies. Plan for them. Seems obvious in retrospect, but I can’t tell you the last time we planned for any of those things beyond the week or two before they happened (or maybe the month before in the case of Christmas.)
- Pay your smallest debt first. Most advice is to pay the highest interest rate first, but Dave, rightly so, focuses on the emotional side of the equation. Get a win by paying off something and it will further motivate you. Success breeds success.
Once these items clicked in, we both fed off it and worked hard to stick to it. Heck, we even sacrificed. Not in any big way, but in a lot of little ways that adds up pretty quickly.
Dave’s step one is to put $1K of cash in an emergency fund so that you don’t have to use the credit card if something comes up. We did that relatively quickly, figuring we could dip into it if we had to for those typical non-emergency emergencies. Turns out, though, as Dave says, that step alone makes you realize most things aren’t emergencies. Next, we set up a plan to pay off our consumer debt using the “snowball” plan. The snowball is simply applying the money from the debt you just paid off (the smallest one) to the next smallest debt, while paying the minimums on all others.
Over the past 6 months a strange transformation has happened. Every month, we’ve sat down together in front of a spreadsheet (we share it on our computers so we can access it separately as needed) and we plan out all of our income and all of our expenses. We talk about it in a real, direct way. What do we owe, what do we want, what debt can we pay off now and what will have to wait. Lay it all on the table. Rarely do we fight over money now during the month because we have it all allocated up front and we both agree on it. Agreement is critical. The meeting isn’t over until you both agree. If something comes up, we sit down and review where we are and figure out how to change it and still meet our goals or forgo. We also forgo buying things we want until we have cash for it, but I think both of us would agree we don’t feel like we are living without.
This new communication has bled over into other parts of our marriage as well. It’s so much easier to be real with each other when you are both working towards mostly the same goals. I say mostly, because we both also know that part of this new found capability involves letting the other have their piece of the pie to do as they see fit without begrudging them. Dave helped us see this because it gave us something outside of the two of us to talk about. It wasn’t me versus her, it was us, discussing Dave. He was the genius or the idiot, not me and not her. It was almost academic in nature, like studying for an exam.
Debt Free (almost)
As of today, I am happy to say we are free of all of our credit card debt and the 401K loan ($30K paid off in about 7 mos all on 1 income and some unemployment.) That leaves us with 1 car payment and the house as our only debt (mortgage plus HELOC). The car will be taken care of by July of this year. As for the HELOC, well, I’ll come back to that. In the meantime, this is the first year ever that we planned and saved for Christmas and purchased everything in cash. Furthermore, neither one of us has used a credit card in 7+ months (although I still use one for work and get reimbursed from my employer.) Not only that, but in addition to all the extra Christmas expenses, the month of December brought on an emergency visit to the Vet ($600) due to our dog swallowing a friend’s prescription meds as well as $1300 in car repairs. All paid in cash. We did dip into the $1K emergency fund for the dog, but we’ve already paid it back.
As for the HELOC, well, we’ve decided to sell our house. Yeah, the one we had built, more or less, to our spec. two years ago. Could we afford to keep it at this point? Yes, actually we could, but it takes up too much of our income relative to what our priorities are. It was not an easy decision. I really love the house and the neighborhood we are in, as well as the peace and quiet it brings being out in the country a bit, but we both feel more opportunities are out there if we can increase our monthly cash flow and the house is the biggest impedance to that.
We still don’t know how the house stuff will all turn out, of course, and I don’t know if what we’ve done will work for you, but I hope that by reading this it might help. If nothing else, try picking up a book with your spouse and reading it out loud to each other. You can thank me later.
newsobserver.com | Biden quickly adopts role as attack dog
[Biden's] net worth of $150,000 is decidedly middle class among the millionaire members of the U.S. Senate
I find this really scary. Either it’s a lie, a typo, or Joe Biden doesn’t know how to save money. Seriously, how does one spend 35 years in the senate, where the annual salary these days is at least $165K and he has only saved $150K in that time? Just $10K a year in savings would do it in half that time, and that is just in cash, net worth actually counts the value of your home, etc. Someone needs to do some real digging here. There’s gotta be offshore accounts or something like that or it is a typo. If not, Joe Biden has no business whatsoever being involved in any discussion of money at the Federal level, because his money management skills are grossly incompetent. Seriously, in my early days out of college, I was making ~$40K and I managed to save at least $5K/year in my 401(K) and other accounts. He’s making 4 times that and he can’t put away a few bucks for a rainy day?
As for the bigger dust up on “who’s poorer”, I find it laughable that any of these guys, McCain or Obama, are wasting our time discussing who’s “more in touch” based on how much money the other guy makes. Let’s face facts, the day any of these guys retire from public service is the day they take a job as a high six figure lobbyist for their favorite special interest. Not too mention the amount of money each of them already makes. So please, just stop the stupid bickering and the playground taunts. Talk about something real. Frankly, I don’t care that either one of you are wealthy, in this day and age of Presidential politics, that is a foregone conclusion. What I care about is whether you have the skills to lead a country of 300 million plus people in tough times, and at this point, neither one of you is showing me they have what it takes.’
Back in January or so, we bought a Vivetique Organic Innerspring Mattress from the The Organic Mattress Store. We spent a good deal of time researching mattresses (at least a month), etc. and finally settled on the organic cotton innerspring mattress because my wife gets pretty nasty migraines from a lot of things like perfumes, etc. and the stuff they put in conventional mattresses. We were pretty excited about the purchase, as it has been a number of years since we last bought a mattress and we were due for a new one. Additionally, we liked the thought it was organic and were thus willing to pay a little bit of a premium.
So, I guess you could say we were surprised when we got the mattress and it had a pretty bad smell to it. Kind of a rubbery smell, but not completely. Needless to say, it gave my wife a migraine that night we slept on it. We called the Organic Mattress Store and said it had a bad smell. They said either give it more time or we can ship it back (at our expense) and if they (Vivetique) smell it, they will refund our money. Note, the shipping expenses are around $400. We decided to give it more time. They called back a few weeks later and we said the smell was still there. They said give it some more time. They told my wife in one conversation that sometimes it takes 3-4 months. In a separate conversation, I was told it can be up to 5-6 months and that I should go get myself a good HEPA filter (we already have one) or an ionizer. In other words, we should throw more money at the problem. So, we waited. In the meantime, I slept on it. Over time, I realized I didn’t exactly like the firmness anymore (it is not as firm as I would like) and when my wife has tried to sleep on it (i.e. when we have company), she says it isn’t firm enough either and the smell is still there.
Finally, today, I called back the store. They heard my complaint. My basic argument was that we lodged the smell complaint early on and were told to wait. We waited and it still hasn’t dissipated and now we don’t like the firmness either. They say they only will exchange within 30 days, tops 60 days for comfort. I, of course, argued this, since it was impossible for us to decide if we both liked the comfort since the smell prevented my wife from sleeping on it. The owner said he would check w/ Vivetique to see what options we had. He thought the smell might be from the wool. I’m not sure. Also, note, in fairness, the Organic Mattress Store claims they would never tell anyone to wait that long (3-6 months). I will tell you both my wife and I were told the same thing by separate people at the company, so you decide.
Finally, the store called back later today after consulting with Vivetique, who, surprise!, said there was nothing that can be done. As a consolation, the store said I could purchase any other bed they have at cost plus shipping. Even if Vivetique were to take it back, we’d have to pay $400+ in shipping.
So, now my wife and I are put in the spot of deciding if we should throw good money after bad, or if we should just cut our losses and try to figure something else out. I think we will try to sell the bed on Craigslist or something. After all, it is a brand new bed and there is nothing physically wrong with it other than a smell that someone who is sensitive to might not like and it wasn’t to our firmness liking, but that part is subjective anyway. I know we both tend to like really firm mattresses. Beyond that, I’m not sure what to do.
The sad part of it is, this type of bed is specifically marketed to people, like my wife, who have sensitivities to perfumes, chemical smells, etc. If we can’t buy an organic mattress made from pure cotton and pure wool, what can we buy? Note, she doesn’t have a problem with our older, “conventional” bed.
At any rate, I know I will never buy a mattress over the Internet again. Let’s call a spade a spade, too: A guarantee isn’t worth much if you have to spend $400-$500 in order to invoke the guarantee (i.e. by paying the shipping costs). And, that is what Vivetique counts on with it’s guarantee; that people like me aren’t going to call ‘em on it because of the shipping costs. Of course, I’m not trying to be the victim here. I knew about the 30 day guarantee going in and still chose to buy it. I guess I figured, though, that after we were told to wait for the smell to dissipate that we could still exchange it. I should have gotten that in writing (not that it was ever promised by the Organic Mattress Store). Note, also that the Organic Mattress Store has been handling this fairly well and trying to make us happy, to some extent, although it is short of what we really want, which is our money back. Vivetique, on the other hand, basically washes their hands of it.
So, in the end, buyer beware, I guess. I can’t recommend buying from Vivetique given their return policies and the associated cost. As for the Organic Mattress Store, I’m still undecided. I’ll keep you posted on how it works out. In the meantime, I’d love to hear some other options.
I know it sounds strange, but I see a lot of people in my neighborhood who put way to much effort into shoveling their driveway (this doesn’t count those who have snow blowers, which I think is a cop-out for those who are young and fit enought to shovel). These shovelers spend way too much time picking up and carrying snow to the side of the driveway. Or they try to heave it all from the center of the driveway. Or they get a shoveful, bend over and pick it up and then carry it over to the side to be dumped. All of these methods, undoubtedly lead to sore or injured backs.
So, you may ask, what makes you such a self-proclaimed expert in shoveling? First, I live north of Syracuse. We get a lot of snow. And I mean a lot. The record for the city is 192″. Three or so years ago we had 191 inches and some change (didn’t beat the record, though) and I shoveled pretty much ever last inch of that in my two car wide, four car deep driveway. Second, I am a computer geek. I am paid to think about how to do things efficiently, and I apply it to many things in my life. Third, I relish shoveling. I think it is great exercise, when done right.
The first thing people do wrong is they use a straight handle shovel. These are a recipe for disaster. Get yourself a bent handle snow shovel. This prevents you from having to bend down to pick up the snow.
The second big mistake is they try to throw the snow from wherever they are. So, if they have a full shovel and they are in the middle of the driveway, they throw the snow to the side.
So, here is my algorithm:
- Bisect the driveway lengthwise by pushing the snow straight ahead of you down to the end of the driveway. This should leave a single stripe down the middle of your driveway
- Clear out any plow droppings at the end of the driveway
- Working your way back up one side of the bisected driveway, take your shovel in one hand, and push the snow to the side of the driveway as far as you can.
- Take a step up the driveway, and repeat the last step
- Repeat the previous two steps until you get to the top of the driveway
- Now, go back down the same side of the driveway that you just came up. Scoop one shovelful of snow off into your pile. If you don’t have too much snow, you can do this in a nice, low to the ground, efficient scoop which doesn’t require you to bend over at all. If you have a large snow bank, you may have to lift it up higher. Make sure you bend at the knees.
- Take a step or two back down the driveway and repeat the last step, scooping the snow onto the grass
- When you get to the bottom, depending on how much snow you have, you may need to turn around and go back up. Take a break at the top and bottom of the driveway if you need it
- Repeat this for the other side of the driveway.
With this method, you can have a driveway of my size clear of anywhere from 1″ to 6″ in about 15 minutes if you work methodically and are in decent shape. If you have a real heavy snowfall or a real wet snowfall, you will need to take more time. Also, with heavy snowfalls, you may need to also bisect the bisection, so as to create a “snow break”, which will make it easier to push the snow to the side.
Sorry to disappoint you all, but the Market America legal team has contacted me and asked me to remove this post. Since I don’t really care much for MA, I am going to do so, simply because it is not worth my time. Apparently they didn’t like that I was in the top 10 on Google for “Market America”. The irony of it is most of my ranking was due to clicks and comments from MA franchise owners.
In my opinion, here is a summary of my post and the comments (completely watered down): Some people have had bad experiences with MA, including me (note, I never joined MA, I just listened to one presentation and that was enough for me.) Others think it is just fine and have made money at it. One thing is for sure, the corporate MA entity has made a lot of money off of the “unfranchise” business model (the irony here, of course, is that corporate MA is just like any other corporation, complete with “Associate General Counsel” threatening to sue.)
I will leave you all with these thoughts: Please, please, please make sure you know what you are doing before signing up for any business. Read the fine print. Do your homework. NO business is without risk, even if they say it is, as MA does here. None. Nunca. Zip. Nada. Get the picture? So, if someone tells you otherwise, red flags should go up. I\’m not saying don\’t join or anything like that, just saying do your homework first and know what you are getting into. And this goes for all “opportunities”, if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. Just know that there are plenty of ways to make money in this country that are legal and safe and they don\’t have to involve your friends and family or things that are too complex for you to understand.
DISCLAIMER: Any comments that follow are the OPINIONS of that particular author and do not necessarily reflect my views. Furthermore, I cannot guarantee the accuracy of the statements, good or bad, so, just because it appears on a website does not make it fact.